Pregnant During Covid-19 How I Found My Silver Lining
Baby Girl Due Soon, This Is How Im Coping
My Mom: "We are going to have to cancel the baby shower"
Me: "Now hear me out... have you ever seen the movie Bubble Boy?"
Being pregnant is hard. But holy cow, being pregnant during a worldwide pandemic is another level hard. Today marks 27 weeks for me with my second baby and boy did I feel like life was so unfair when this all began to unfold. Helpless, yes. Scared for my baby and I, yes. Anxious for all the right reasons, yes. Everyday is a big fat question mark for some of us. Will I get to have my husband or support partner with me when I deliver? Am I going to reschedule that baby shower I was so excited to celebrate this new life with family and friends? Will there be enough diapers and wipes for me when this baby is born? Are my parents and in laws going to be able to help once I deliver? I’ve always been a pretty laid back, roll with whatever life brings me kind of gal, but this whole crisis has my head and heart feeling absolutely SCARED.
I’m sad for the ones experiencing their first pregnancy and have had a lot of excitement taken from what’s supposed to be such a joyous time. I’m sad for all the single moms/military moms doing this all by themselves. I’m sad for the ones who have waited and tried so hard, and are welcoming their rainbow or IVF baby into the world. I’m sad for each and every woman out there who is pregnant right now.
Now, this blog is not to bring you down on every obstacle you’re encountering right now, but to hopefully bring some light into your life with all the craziness going on in the world. Staying positive during this whole process has been key for me during all of this. Easier said than done, I know. I unexpectedly became a stay at home mom with a 3 year old, while trying to juggle working from home, keeping a (semi) clean house, do the laundry, cook dinner, all while being pregnant. But, instead of harping on all the bad, which is so easy to do, I’ve learned to change my perspective in all of this. Some days are harder than others, and that’s OK. Here’s some things/techniques that have worked for me:
Don’t Stay Attached to the News/Social Media
This was harder in the beginning as everything was rapidly changing and new information was coming out. With everything the CDC is currently stating in regards to pregnant woman and their risk, as well as their baby(s), I feel more at ease. Yes, we are considered higher risk due to weakened immune systems during pregnancy, but I feel a sense of comfort that the virus is not transferred from mom to fetus. Not turning on the TV when you’ve been self quarantined can be hard, but I PROMISE, my days are drastically better the less I watch or engage on my phone. Nows the time to get started on a new show you can binge watch whenever you have the time.
Move Your Body
This was the LAST thing I wanted to do when my family and I began our strict social distancing 10 days ago. I was depressed, anxious, tired, and the weather was crappy all week. I just wanted to crawl in a ball and cry. We obviously don’t have the power to change the weather (which would be nice) but, if it’s sunny out where you live take full advantage of it. Even it’s cold, just getting fresh air helped release some endorphins and relieve any anxiety I was feeling. My hubby and I also sat down and made a schedule of when each of us will have time to get a quick workout in. If I’m being honest, it’s harder to find the motivation to workout right downstairs, but if I know I only have a certain time I can do it, it helps me stay more accountable.
Communicate With Your Partner
Remind yourself, any and everything you are feeling right now is 100% valid. Our hormones are all over the place while pregnant, and may be even more so now. Communicating with your partner about how you are feeling, what you’re upset about and how they can help can be a great way to get all of your emotions out. They can also work as a great support system for you and be a shoulder to lean on when your emotions are heightened. For us, setting designated nights during the week for a “date night” can help you stay connected and give you a sense of normalcy.
Adjusting to Having Your Kid(s) Home
If you have your kid(s) at home and are home from work, this may be a big adjustment for you. I know for me, it was. I would (and still do) get down on myself. Am a doing enough school work with them? Are they having too much screen time? I found myself getting more and more frustrated and would beat myself up. I came across a post that spoke so well to me and what a lot of us mothers are going through right now. “There are no “rules” around how to exist ‘best’ during a pandemic. This is a national emergency, not an added opportunity to push productivity and expect normalcy in any way. This is not normal. Lean into whatever works best for your family, whatever makes sense for your children, whatever allows you the mental and emotional space to be OK for the next few weeks.” I try to remind myself of this, especially on the harder days. Keeping a schedule or list of activities I have planned each day keeps me more organized. I go over it with my 3 year old who then has expectations on what he’ll be doing for the day.
Baby Shower Alternatives
This was a hard pill to swallow. I was lucky enough to have multiple showers with my first born but was so excited to have the chance to do it with our first girl. I feel for the mamas who have never had a shower and are having to cancel or make adjustments. Yes, our birth plans may not go as planned but I never thought this would be taken away from me. On the flip side, there are several different ways to celebrate this new bundle of joy you’re about to bring into the world, it just might look a little different than we thought. Here are some ideas I found to be great alternatives:
Virtual Baby Shower: Create a Zoom account and invite all your friends and family to do the same. You can still have the fun baby games (minus the interactive ones), open gifts, and wear that pretty dress you had picked out! I highly suggest playing "Don't Say Baby"
Drop Off: If most of your guests live near by, decorate your porch and give a designated time slot for each guest to drop off a gift and leave on the porch.
Sip and See: This is a great way to welcome baby’s arrival to all your friends and family. It’s typically a bit more casual than a baby shower, but I feel like there are no rules now so get as creative as you’d like! Plus mom, you get to enjoy those mimosas with all your guests now :) Now, depending when you’re due, you’ll want to decide if this is safe for you, your family and guests. .
Everything Will Be OK
I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on life the past week and a half. Yes, the days tend to be longer and sometimes I’m a little more cranky, but I also get to spend more time with my family. I truly feel like I’m a better mom and my little 3 year old I spend chasing around all day get’s to see Mommy and Daddy more. I don’t take for granted the little things, like sunshine and getting excited to play outside with him. I enjoy cooking more, but also am SO looking forward to going out to dinner on a Friday night with my family. I appreciate my in laws, who spend an hour to two hours playing with my son over an iPad everyday who can’t wait to just give him a hug. I have to admit, I’m not a fan of going to grocery store, but will remember how tirelessly those clerks worked to stock the shelves for us during this time. And now, more than ever, I am grateful for all the healthcare workers putting themselves and their families at risk while I stay home with mine. I have all the faith in the world, no matter what my birth plan may have looked like, that the nurses, midwives and doctors will do everything they can to keep my baby and I safe.
Life throws us some wild curveballs sometimes. We may struggle at first, but one thing I believe is, in the midst of all the chaos going on right now, we will come out stronger and we will be amazing mothers. Things will not go exactly as we planned during our pregnancies and possibly birth but in the end everything will be OK. Please share this hope with others, Hang in their mama’s, you got this!
PS: I Just started an IG & I have no followers :( I will be sharing pregnancy tips for you mamas! It would mean the world to me if you gave me a follow :)